


Enlightenment

by ArtyMissK



Series: Poems, Mathoms & Other Things [9]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Drunk Dwarves, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Other, Young Balin - Freeform, Young Dwalin, gen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 12:30:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4100986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtyMissK/pseuds/ArtyMissK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein one Fundin son enlightens the other to the ways of women.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enlightenment

**Author's Note:**

> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR. (Well except a rather nerdy collection of the books and movies!) 
> 
> Please note that the ‘her’ in question is NOT a young woman – that would be a little creepy, in my head she’s more like mid-thirties and Dwalin and Balin are about the dwarves equivalent.

The brave and noble travelling party of Thorin Oakenshield had come to rest in a small human village under the pretence of gathering supplies, which just happened to coincide with waiting out a rain storm, before returning to the road and once more heading for Erebor.

 

Of course stopping to gather supplies is actually dwarven code for _‘I fancy a drink’_ which means finding a tavern, the ones run by men are usually given some sort of ridiculous name, there’s one in the village of Bree called _The Prancing Pony_ and other taverns include but are not limited to _The Laughing Dog, The Jolly Taxpayer_ and _The Drunken Duck_ , the sons of Fundin are currently sat in a darkened corner of _The Castle_ \- oddly enough though, most call it _The Jim And Dragon_. Why does it have two names you may ask yourself, well it's because Jim is the man who owns it and his wife…well, lets say she isn’t exactly a wallflower, anyway, Balin and Dwalin have for sometime been hiding from their responsibilities, promising to be in their rooms early and not make scenes of any kind, but that all changed when they caught sight of The Castles rather lovely barmaid.

 

“Brother stop being silly and talk to her.”

 

“I will in my own time.”

 

The ‘her’ in question is currently sitting next to Dori, who is travelling with his brothers (the shy one, and the pointy one) fussing over his intricately braided hair and beard “Why do the women always go for him?” asks one brother, trying his hardest not to pout.

 

“I think they think that he’s ‘cute’.” answers the other, although he too is ever so slightly confused.

 

“Cute?”

 

“Yeah they, the women, they use that word a lot.”

 

“O.”

 

“Everything’s ‘cute’ birds, puppies, clouds, their dresses, their friends dresses…and apparently…Dori.”

 

“Tell me what else do you know about human women, spare nothing.”

 

Several drinks later, once one brother has enlightened the other about the ways of women, they hear a shout from a small, strange looking man who they assume must be Jim “Closing time, pay up and clear out!”

 

“Talk to her brother, before she gets away. Remember what I told you to do and say.”

 

Summoning all his strength he walks as gracefully as a drunk dwarf can and approaches ‘her’, the woman who has so quickly captivated him.

 

“Oh, master dwarf…are you alright?” the woman asks the swaying darrow, although when he fails to answer she simply bends down into his eye line, that’s better at least he’s focusing again – even if he is staring blatantly down her dress, the drink colouring his cheeks.

 

“I wuv you!” he says suddenly, forgetting everything his brother had told him to say, before fainting at the barmaids feet.

 

“He never was much good at holding his drink.” Dwalin says quietly to himself, moving to settle their bill, before scooping his brother off of the tavern floor, apologising to the woman and leaving.

 

~

**Author's Note:**

> So, that sort of just happened…p.s The Castle happens to be my local and yes it is also known as the Jim and Dragon :)
> 
> I can re-do this to fit any of the dwarves/hobbit/elves etc, if you want me to just leave a comment.


End file.
